Jimmy Kimmel: Texas May Have Broken My Stomach

"I think Texas may have broken my stomach, I really do. That's the weight of a human head ... Even my yoga pants don't fit me anymore," Jimmy Kimmel told his audience during Monday's edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live, referring to the nine pounds he gained during the eight days he spent in Austin for the South by Southwest (SXSW) festival. To prove just how much he ate, he showed a giant collage of all the food photos that he and his sidekick Guillermo took, featuring 36 different dishes from tacos and pizza to brisket to a whole pig's head. Then he challenged the audience: "Let's play like a 'Where's Waldo?' to see if you can spot a vegetable in the whole thing. The takeaway here is we're lucky to be alive right now, we really are."

Kimmel was in Austin to air five original shows beginning March 16 through March 20. Notable guests included Bill Murray, Matthew McConaughey, Tony Romo, Kevin Hart and Willie Nelson. Kanye West who was supposed to be there March 20 backed out at the last minute. Kimmel made light of the situation, telling the audience, "If you do not like Kanye West, make sure to tune in Friday night to not see him."

The 47-year-old late-night talk-show host also managed to join some SXSW panel discussions. In one, he talked about his penis surgeries. "It just kind of closed up on its own. I don't know why it happened. I still don't know why. The guy [his doctor] said, 'Your urethra's closing up and you need it operated on,' and they did. And then they said, 'Yea, we didn't get it, it didn't quite work. We need to do it again.' And they did it again. It's a horrible process, by the way - a horrible process," referring to the two surgical procedures he had to undergo to correct the closed urethra.

In related news, Jimmy Kimmel has booked Van Halen for his March 30 show, marking the legendary rock band's first U.S. television appearance with former and again current frontman David Lee Roth.